


Good as Gold

by atamascolily



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack Treated Seriously, Fix-It, Gen, Humor, popular media in a galaxy far far away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:26:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28555341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atamascolily/pseuds/atamascolily
Summary: In which Kyp Durron receives the punishment he so richly deserves.(aka the one where Luke finds the perfect use for a certain gold jumpsuit)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 12





	Good as Gold

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't watched the extremely bizarre German TV spot from the '80s where Mark Hamill wears a gold lame jumpsuit, please do so immediately. It's glorious. 
> 
> Then, of course, I wondered what the Jedi equivalent of the Cone of Shame was, and, well...

"Oh, no," Kyp Durron hissed as he caught sight of the gold-spangled jumpsuit in Luke's arms. "There's no way you're ever going to get me to wear _that._ "

"Wrong," Luke said, closing the gap between them. "You promised me you were serious about this whole redemption business. You said, and I quote, 'I'll do whatever I have to do to make this right.'"

Kyp's eyes flickered between the outfit and the door to his cell as he calculated whether or not to make a break for freedom.

Luke cleared his throat. "I wouldn't try that if I were you. Even without the ysalamiri outside to slow you down, you wouldn't get far."

"It's not fair that you can read my mind without the Force," Kyp said, but he settled back into the one chair in his cell with a defeated slump.

"Stop being so predictable then." Luke tossed the jumpsuit into Kyp's lap. "Try it on."

Kyp sulked. He hemmed, hawwed, pursed his lips in disgust, and poked the loose golden folds dangling from the sleeve as if they were a three-day-old dead womp rat in the Tatooine heat. Luke stood with his arms crossed in silence, careful to keep his expression appropriately stern.

After ten minutes, Kyp's shoulders sagged in defeat. " _Fine_ ," he growled, wrenching at the zipper on the jumpsuit with more force than necessary. "I'll _do_ it. But I just want you to know this is _stupid_ , unnecessary, and humiliating."

That was, of course, the entire point, but Luke didn't think it would be wise to rub it in Kyp's face right now. "If it helps, I wore this to a High Command briefing once when I lost a bet with the Rogues," he offered.

"You're _insane_ ," Kyp muttered as he pulled the jumpsuit on over his baggy white prison uniform.

Luke raised an eyebrow. "You're not in a position to point fingers, Kyp. Believe me, there are those who think that _you're_ the crazy one, and that you deserve _far_ worse punishments than this."

"At least I'd have some dignity," Kyp said. "And my final requests would be _honored_."

"Don't worry, there's still time for that if your appeal to the Senate fails," Luke said, gesturing to the doorway. "Shall we?"

Kyp didn't say anything as Luke escorted him into the hallway where the guards with the ysalamiri were waiting. But his expression when he saw the golden knee high boots awaiting him was priceless.

***

The Grand Convocation Chamber of the New Republic Senate was a dizzying spectacle, a vast room with thousands of repulsorpods ringed around a central podium. Luke had only appeared before the full body once before, when requesting formal permission to re-form the Jedi Order a year earlier. This was not the triumphant return he'd envisioned.

But there was no help for it: corrupted by the ghost of the Sith Lord Exar Kun, Kyp had fallen to the Dark Side on Luke's watch, and gone on a galaxy-wide rampage that had murdered millions and destroyed several star systems entirely. Luke was here to take responsibility for his failures--and so was Kyp, gold jumpsuit and all.

As Luke expected, a murmur rose from the assembled Senators as they caught sight of the two Jedi flanked by guards with ysalamiri--only rise as Kyp's outfit registered on their eyes, pseudopodia, or equivalent visual sensors. Just as he'd hoped, much of the anger and grief in the whispers was supplanted by titters and nervous giggles, reaching a crescendo as they approached the podium.

Kyp, eerily pale from long years as a slave in the Kessel spice mines, flushed bright pink. "They're _laughing_ at me."

 _Trust me, that's better than the alternative,_ Luke thought. It would be harder for Kyp's detractors to paint him as a genuine threat when he looked so ridiculous. And if there was one surefire way to cleanse a soul of the Dark Side, it was the ability to appreciate absurdity and laugh at one's own foibles. But this wasn't the time or place for a lesson.

Leia--newly appointed Chancellor of the New Republic following Mon Mothma's illness--waited for them at the podium. She cleared her throat once, and all the Senators fell silent.

"Jedi Master Luke Skywalker," she said gravely. "I believe you have come to update this body on the progress of your school on Yavin IV--and its role in the Carida situation."

Luke nodded. "I have," he said. Speakers scattered throughout the chamber amplified his voice, projecting it in every direction, so he didn't even have to raise his voice.

"Then I yield you the floor," Leia said with a regal nod, and stepped aside to make room for him and Kyp at the podium. This was her first session as Chancellor, and she was risking her political career by offering Luke this chance to speak. He wasn't going to waste it.

Luke gripped Kyp's arm. "Remember what I told you," he said in the younger man's ear. "Be silent until I ask you to speak. Be honest and sincere when you do, and we just might get through this."

The guards waited at the base of the podium as Luke and Kyp ascended the steps. Luke was careful to maintain a firm grip on Kyp's arm, steering him to their destination. The trailing golden wings and tails of the jumpsuit swirled around Kyp, like a clownish version of Luke's plain Jedi robes.

With the ysalamiri so close, there was no drawing on the Force for guidance--only his own inner resources, cultivated through years of training and experience. Aware that all eyes were focused on the two of them, Luke took a deep breath, steadying himself to calm, and looked out over the assembly.

"Honored Senators," he said. "When I last addressed this body one year ago, Senator Garm bel Iblis of Corellia asked a very wise question. Given the destruction wrought by dark Jedi like Joruus C'baoth and Darth Vader, he wondered if we could risk creating new enemies for the New Republic within the very order meant to protect and serve it. I told him I believed it was worth the risks to restore the Jedi Order to be guardians of peace and justice, as they were in the Old Republic. Despite the setbacks, I still believe that to be the case."

Low murmurs from the Senators. Clearly, they hadn't been expecting a direct approach.

"Nevertheless, I was unprepared for the challenges that lay before me in creating the new Jedi Order, and the galaxy has paid the price. My student, Kyp Durron, stole the Sun Crusher, and used it to destroy the Cauldron Nebula, as well as two other inhabited star systems. Millions--perhaps billions--died as a result.

"Though he was under the influence of the dark side at the time, Kyp has since repented of his crimes, and vowed to atone for them by any means necessary. Now his fate ultimately rests in your capable hands.

"I believe Kyp has the potential to become one of the New Republic's most loyal defenders, should you grant him the opportunity. As his teacher, I ask you to allow him to prove it by letting him destroy the Sun Crusher once and for all."

He was interrupted by outrage from the assembly, which was only to be expected. "What’s to stop him from rampaging around the galaxy and blowing up more star systems?" a delegate from Obroa-skai demanded.

"An excellent question," Luke acknowledged. "The Sun Crusher must be destroyed. Everyone in the New Republic knows that. But only by destroying the Sun Crusher can Kyp truly prove his repentance, and I will be with him when he does it."

"How did you let him go over to the dark side in the first place? How can we trust your judgment?" snapped the representative of the Duro sector.

"If the Senate chooses to remove me as head of the Jedi Order, that is their prerogative," Luke said, meeting the senator's gaze squarely. "Unfortunately, incomplete as my training has been, there is no one else more qualified to run at this time. There are many hazards that are impossible to predict."

Good. They were thinking. Time play hardball: "As I'm sure you know, the Empire is also trying to gather talented beings to form an army of their own. If I don't train my students, who will?"

Dead silence in the chamber. No one had any answer to that.

"You have to decide whether to take the risk,” Luke said. "But one way or another, the decision is yours."

And speaking of risks--

"Kyp?" he said. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Luke held his breath. He had to trust Kyp, that he was ready for this. If the young man lashed out with anger or threats, he wasn't ready to be a Jedi, no matter what other promises he made, and Luke would look like a fool.

But if it worked--

"I'm--" Kyp hesitated, looked down at his bound hands, and tried again. "I'm sorry," he said, raising his head to address the assembled senators directly. "Even though Master Skywalker warned us about the dangers of the dark side, I let my anger against the Empire consume me. I thought--if I could only punish them for what they did to me and my family, nothing else mattered. I acted on my own initiative, even when I knew I was wrong. I killed millions of people on Carida--including my own brother--and I didn't even know it until it was too late."

He took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "I told Master Skywalker I'll do whatever I have to do to make this right. And if that means dying, or going to prison, or never using the Force again, or wearing this ridiculous outfit ... so be it."

Slight titters from the assembly at that last bit. Luke risked a glance at Leia, and, seeing her approach, touched Kyp's hand to signal him to silence.

"Thank you for your testimony," Leia said gravely as Luke lead Kyp off the stand. "The formal vote on the resolution concerning Kyp Durron's fate will be held in two hours following the recess. For now, the session is adjourned."

***

General Jan Dodonna was waiting for them in the hallway when they emerged from the chamber.

"I don't approve of your student's reasoning or his unilateral actions," he said--carefully sidestepping his feelings about the military advantage of the complete annihilation of a major training facility--"but you did the right thing to take responsibility, Skywalker. We lost a great deal when you resigned your commission, you know."

"Thank you, sir," Luke said.

Dodonna grunted at the acknowledgement, wrinkled his nose at Kyp, then turned back to Luke. "And I seem to recall another memorable briefing involving this same outfit where you also took your subordinates' fallout. You wore it better, of course."

Kyp's scowl deepened. It was all Luke could do not to laugh.

"Thank you, sir," he repeated gravely.

With a chuckle, Dodonna saluted, and moved on down the corridor.

They were almost back to the prison unit when a familiar voice cut across the hallway, waving him over. "Hey Luke! Is that the new Jedi uniform you got there?"

"You know, it just might be," Luke called back to Wedge Antilles, doing his best to keep his voice casual.

Kyp moaned and put his head in his hands.

***

"The verdict is in," Luke said to Kyp later that evening. "The Senate has agreed to let you destroy the Sun Crusher under my direct supervision. They have also voted--by a very narrow margin--not to try you for war crimes. Frankly, it wouldn't have passed at all if Leia hadn't stuck her neck out for you--and she only did it because Han and I vouched for you. So keep that in mind next time you see both of them, because you owe them big time."

Kyp nodded. "Is that all?"

"No. You will be released back into my custody to be dealt with as I see fit. I have a few other conditions for your freedom."

"I suppose I should have seen this coming," Kyp said.

Luke gestured to the golden jumpsuit that Kyp had flung on the floor as soon as he had gotten back to his cell. "You will wear the gold jumpsuit at any and all public appearances--by which I mean anytime you are off Yavin IV. You will not complain about it. You will be assigned to the Jedi Orders's newly minted public relations unit as their main spokesbeing, where will represent the Jedi at formal diplomatic occasions--which you will _also_ not complain about."

But he wasn't finished. "You will have a ysalamir on you at all times. If anybody asks, it's a service animal to help you navigate after the Dark Side destroyed some of your senses. You will not explain its abilities to anyone under any circumstances."

"What about--I don't know, destroying Exar Kun's temple or something--"

"Corran already did that," Luke said. "It was extremely cathartic for him."

"Oh," Kyp said, momentarily taken aback. "Well. Okay, then."

 _He's taking this well_ , Luke thought. Aloud, he said "You were expecting something else?"

"I thought they'd send me back to Kessel or something."

"You _want_ to go back there?" Luke asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kyp shrugged. "It's hell, but I'm used to it. Besides, didn't the New Republic make them abolish slavery?"

"You want to find out?"

"No."

"I thought so. Now suit up. There's a press conference scheduled outside in fifteen minutes, and you're making a statement--verbally _and_ visually."

***

"How's the golden child?" Leia asked a few weeks later. "Staying out of trouble, I hope?"

"Better than I expected," Luke reported. "It's hard for Kyp to spend all his time brooding when he looks like a glittering reject from a sparkle-bop group. As it turns out, he's garnered quite a following among the young generations, with are entire HoloNet accounts devoted to nothing but speculations over his next appearance, or gushing over the cuteness of his 'service lizard'."

"There's no accounting for taste," his sister agreed, shaking her head. "Who knew that old outfit of mine was going to be spangled across every HoloNet channel in the galaxy?"

"You regret letting me borrow it?"

"Of course not! It fit you better than it ever did me--and it was worth it just to see the look on Mon Mothma's face when you walked in--"


End file.
